


sometimes goodbye is a second chance

by Megakatze (LaufeiaEvans)



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Future Fic, If Hell Night Never Happened, M/M, School Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25430323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaufeiaEvans/pseuds/Megakatze
Summary: Dalton Big Bang Day 50: Five Years LaterJulian left Dalton Academy during his junior year without so much as an explanation, leaving Logan to wonder what happened to their friendship. Now, five years later, he returns for their class reunion, and Logan might finally find the answers he's been missing.
Relationships: Julian Larson-Armstrong/John Logan Wright III, larythe if you squint
Kudos: 8





	sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Logan didn’t even want to go to their five year reunion.

It wasn’t like he’d kept in touch with anyone from high school. Sure, he still ran into the Brightmans occasionally, at family gatherings and high-profile events. He’d had a few conversations with Ethan about changing majors, was pleasantly surprised to learn that the twins had ultimately decided to pursue different academic paths. But they weren’t close, and outside of those few encounters Logan hadn’t exactly made a point to reach out. Derek was really the only person from Dalton that he still had any contact with.

But Derek had all but insisted that they attend, so he finds himself here, leaning against the back wall of Orion Hall with a glass of whiskey in hand.

“Having fun?”

Derek broke apart from the crowd, smiling loosely as he took a long swig from the glass in his hand. He joined Logan at the wall, taking a moment to pause and survey the crowd. “You should be out mingling, come on. Catch up. Say hi to old friends.”

"I only had two friends at Dalton,” Logan protested, swirling his glass. “And it's not like Julian's coming."

Derek glanced down at the floor, shuffling his feet. ”I kind of hoped he would,” he muttered. Logan frowned.

"Why would he?"

There was a long pause before Derek answered, “I did invite him."

"You—“ Logan stared in disbelief. “What?"

Logan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He hadn’t heard from Julian in five years, since the day he’d woken up to find his friend’s room empty save for his uniforms and a few photos of the three of them tossed carelessly into the trash can beside his desk.

"I texted him,” Derek clarified, as if that explained anything.

"You've been in contact with him?"

"A little.” Derek took a swig of his drink, looking uncomfortable. “We text sometimes. Here and there."

"How?” Logan felt anger bubbling in his chest, undercut with a pang of hurt. He forced it down, fighting to keep his voice level. “He left. He changed his number. He blocked us on social media."

"He blocked _you_."

Logan blanched. “What?”

"Look, can we not talk about this now?” Derek pushed himself up from the wall, finishing the rest of his drink and coming to face Logan fully. “We're here to have fun, come on."

"No, tell me,” Logan challenged, his voice rising dangerously. “Because what I remember is him leaving Dalton for good, tossing our pictures in the trash and cutting off all contact without so much as a _text message_. He wanted nothing to do with us. Now you're telling me you've been talking to him this whole time?"

Derek paused very carefully before saying, “You don't know why he left, do you?"

But before Logan could answer and remind him that no, he didn’t know why Julian had left, of _course_ he didn’t, there was a commotion across the room. Whispers spread throughout the crowd of boys, and when he turned to the door of the hall he realized exactly why.

Julian.

He was here. He’d actually _showed up_ , clad in his signature sunglasses and a sharp black blazer contrasting a light green V-neck. He’d changed a bit, his chest a little broader and his hair a little longer, but he was still so clearly _Julian_.

“Oh my god,” Derek muttered. He’d noticed at the same time Logan did. But rather than staring slack-jawed as Logan was, he raised his arm in an enthusiastic wave, his face splitting into a grin. He caught Julian’s eye immediately, and Julian smiled, cutting gracefully through the crowd towards the two of them.

"You actually came,” Derek shouted over the commotion as Julian approached them. Julian grinned, pushing his glasses up to rest atop his fluffed-up hair.

"Well, I heard there was booze, so." He shrugged, glancing quickly over at Logan with a glint in his eye. Logan’s jaw snapped shut, and he took a moment to compose himself.

"Dickhead,” Derek sighed, shaking his head. “Come here."

He dragged Julian into a hug, and Julian laughed, arms wrapping firmly around Derek. When they broke apart, he finally turned toward Logan, his eyes soft.

“Hi,” Logan breathed. Julian smiled.

“Hey.”

Logan managed to snap himself out of it, shaking off his initial shock enough to at least attempt to be polite. “How have you been?"

"Oh, you know,” Julian hedged. “Got my EGOT."

"Yeah, uh,” Logan chuckled awkwardly. “I saw."

At the ensuing silence, Derek mercifully cut in. “You, um, wanted booze?” he said to Julian, who finally looked away from Logan and gave him a moment to breathe. “I can grab you a drink."

"Sure,” he said with a nod. “Vodka cran, no ice."

"You got it."

Derek took off, leaving Logan alone to work out what the hell he was supposed to do in this situation. Julian turned back to him, and he quickly raised his glass, downing the rest of it in one nervous gulp.

"So,” he tried, and Julian seemed to sense his discomfort.

"It's been a while, huh?"

"Yeah,” he said with a breathless laugh. “A while."

"What have you been up to?” Julian shoved his hands in his pockets, not quite shedding his usual confidence but looking a little uncertain nonetheless. “Derek mentioned something about an engagement.”

Deciding not to focus on the news that Derek and Julian had been talking about him without his knowledge, Logan instead mustered up a wry smile. "Yeah, uh, that didn't work out."

"Oh. Sorry to hear that."

Logan shrugged. “What about you? I haven’t seen any gossip columns about your latest fling in a while.“

The joke fell a little flat, but Julian did manage a light chuckle.

"Ah, I'm newly single." He glanced away, staring off into the distance. “There was something, but…well. It didn’t last.”

“What happened?"

Julian’s eyes met his. “He moved to Paris."

Logan’s jaw went slack.

"Alright, here we go.” Derek’s arrival drew both of their attention, and Julian grinned as he accepted the drink and took a sip. Derek handed Logan another glass of whiskey. “Got you one too,” he said as he twisted the cap off the bottle of beer under his arm.

“Thanks,” Logan muttered, and after catching Julian’s eyes for a split second he immediately took a probably-too-large sip.

Derek didn’t seem to notice any awkwardness. He and Julian immediately struck up a conversation, and Logan listened intently as Julian recounted everything he’d been up to in the last five years. Neither of them made any mention of the fact that he hadn’t spoken to Logan once in all that time, nor the fact that Julian had apparently just ended a long-term relationship with another man. Logan tried to stay engaged in the conversation, but his mind was elsewhere.

After a while, when Julian and Derek had both finished their drinks, something across the room caught Julian’s eye. He nudged Derek’s arm, telling him that he’d be back in a moment, and with one final glance to Logan he once again disappeared into the crowd. Logan stared after him, his hands clenched around his glass.

"Why did he leave?"

Without looking, he could hear Derek sigh under his breath.

"You really don't know, do you,” he muttered, and Logan turned to face him with a look of annoyance.

"That would be why I'm asking,” he replied shortly.

"Look, I told him to tell you." Derek raised his free hand defensively, and Logan scoffed.

"Well, he didn't. Clearly. So tell me now."

Derek looked down at his feet. “It's not really my place,” he muttered, and Logan wanted to shake him. He held back, clutching his glass tightly.

"Was it because of me?" he said through gritted teeth. Derek glanced up, his gaze heavy.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod.

Before Logan could acknowledge that bombshell, they were interrupted by the arrival of one of Derek’s old rowing buddies. Logan stepped back, downing the rest of his glass in one gulp and leaning against the wall. He was vaguely aware of the conversation happening beside him, but he didn’t bother pretending to participate. His mind reeled with scattered memories from their junior year at Dalton. Julian had been back for a month - less, even - before he’d packed up and left for good. He hadn’t said a word to Logan about it. After months of wondering what had gone wrong, Logan was forced to accept that he would never know. But now here was Julian, hurtling back into Logan’s life and bringing all those old feelings of hurt and confusion back with him.

"This party sucks."

The sound of Julian’s voice over the crowd pulled Logan out of his reverie. He looked up, meeting the other man’s relaxed smile. Logan forced a grin in reply, but he doubted it looked particularly genuine.

"Well, when you're accustomed to Hollywood glitz, cocktail hour in Ohio can hardly hope to compete." Derek sidled up to them, all but finished with another glass of beer. Logan hadn’t even noticed him leaving to get it. He glanced down at the empty glass in his own hand, letting it fall to his side.

"You guys wanna bail?"

Derek scoffed. “And do what, snort coke off a stripper?" Julian raised an eyebrow, looking to Derek with an amused smirk.

"Is that what you think I do?"

"Not like we'd know what you do,” Logan muttered quietly, and both of them turned to face him with twin expressions of discomfort. The silence between them was heavy.

"How long are you in town?" Derek looked back to Julian, whose eyes lingered on Logan just a moment before he plastered on his usual smile.

"Just tonight,” he replied apologetically. “Flight leaves tomorrow afternoon."

"Damn, so soon?"

"I've got stuff to do.” He shrugged, sipping his drink. “There’s people to meet. Interviews. Photoshoots."

“Surprised you managed to come at all,” Logan chimed in, trying for humor but sounding more bitter than he’d intended. Derek shifted awkwardly on his feet.

"I'm gonna get another drink,” he muttered, and before Logan could protest he was gone. Logan sighed, realizing that he’d made this bed for himself.

"Okay,” Julian said in a low voice, stalking closer to face Logan fully. “What's going on?"

Logan’s eyes met his, and his snappy retort died on his lips. He’d been angry at first, hoping to tell Julian off for leaving him hanging all these years, to demand answers as to what he did in the first place to make Julian drop him out of his life. But now, standing face to face with his estranged best friend who seemed for all the world to be entirely unaware of the pain he’d put Logan through, he just felt hurt.

"Why did you leave?"

Julian exhaled in defeat, his gaze dropping to the floor. Logan took a step forward.

"Because I was under the impression that no one knew, and you dropped all of Dalton when you transferred out. But tonight I find out Derek has been texting you this whole time—“

"I only reconnected with him a year ago,” Julian interrupted quietly. Logan ignored him.

“—and that he apparently knows exactly why you left, and that it has something to do with me. That you weren’t running away from Dalton, you were just trying to get away from _me_. So. Tell me. Why did you leave?"

Logan’s hands were shaking. His voice wobbled dangerously close to breaking, so he waited for Julian to answer, crossing his arms over his chest. Julian took a deep breath, steeling himself, and when he finally met Logan’s eyes, his next words surprised him.

"Kurt."

Logan frowned. “What?"

"It was because of Kurt, okay?” Julian raised his hands in frustration, struggling to form words. “He showed up while I was gone, and you…he was all you ever talked about. You were in love with him, like you'd never been in love with anyone else, like you’d never be in love with anyone else, and I—I couldn't stand it. Anymore."

He let his hand drop, and for the first time in years, his usual facade was cracked. He stared up at Logan like he’d been wounded, and Logan’s heart ached.

“Why did it matter to you?"

Julian laughed darkly. "God, you really are an idiot sometimes."

Logan blinked, the pieces forming together into something he didn’t want to acknowledge. “Are you saying you..."

Julian’s eyes met his. "I loved you, Logan."

And there it was.

The part he’d been missing all this time.

God, he _was_ an idiot.

“Oh,” he breathed, gaping at Julian like he was seeing him for the first time. Julian looked away uncomfortably.

"Since we were freshmen,” he mumbled. "I...honestly thought Derek told you."

"How—“ Logan’s mouth struggled to form words. He stammered incoherently, his thoughts a whirlwind. “I mean, you never said..."

"I didn't want you to know,” Julian explained. “I didn’t—I thought it didn't matter. That we could just be friends, and I’d…I’d get over it, I guess.”

"But you never said anything,” Logan repeated, frustration mounting. “You never even told me you were _gay_ , you—“

"Bi,” Julian interrupted quietly.

"What?"

"I'm not gay. I'm bi.” Julian sighed. “And I never told you because it didn't matter."

"We were _friends_ , Jules, I—“ Logan stared incredulously at the man he’d once thought was his best friend. He’d never had any secrets from Julian, couldn’t have even if he wanted to. He’d thought Julian felt the same about him.

He’d thought a lot of things that were wrong, apparently.

Logan swallowed thickly, pulling himself together. “If I'd known—“

"Stop,” Julian said, screwing his eyes shut. “Don't do that. Don't act like it would have changed anything."

“Maybe it would have."

Julian shot him a weary look.

“I haven’t talked to Kurt since graduation,” Logan added. Julian’s brow furrowed. “He was with Blaine. I realized…I knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere with him. We weren’t even really friends, senior year. We had other things to focus on.”

Julian pursed his lips. “Really.”

In spite of himself, Logan laughed. “I was a kid,” he said with a shrug. “I was sixteen, I didn’t…everything felt life or death back then. You think if you love someone, you’ll love them forever. But then we graduated, and some of us moved halfway across the country, and it…” He sighed, pausing a moment to collect himself. He fixed Julian with an intense gaze. “I never stopped thinking about you.”

Julian blinked. He shrank a little under Logan’s gaze, and Logan had to stop himself from moving any further towards him.

“I’m—“ Julian stammered, looking away quickly. He fidgeted for a moment with the glass in his hand. His eyes barely met Logan’s as he looked up with a frustrated sigh. “I have to go.”

—

"I'm leaving."

Derek turned away from the bar slowly, his eyes unfocused as they met Julian’s.

"Wha—?” His voice was slurred, and Julian caught himself wondering how many drinks he’d had so far. “No, no wait, you can't leave."

Julian sighed, slamming his empty glass down on the bar counter. “I can't do this, Derek."

"Can't do what?"

"I thought...I thought it'd be different.” He leaned against the bar, staring off into space. “I thought we could start over, be friends again without all that bullshit emotional baggage. I thought now that we’re older, now that I’ve had _time_ , I could handle it. But…I just can’t.”

"You still have feelings for him."

In spite of his intoxication, Derek still saw right through him. Julian barked a rueful laugh.

"I tried,” he said softly. “I got over it. I _was_ over it, but coming back here, talking to him again…” He screwed his eyes shut, biting his lower lip. “It all came rushing back.”

"Julian."

His eyes flew open, fixing Derek with a severe look. "Don't say it."

"You have to talk to him,” Derek argued. “You can't just leave again, not without an explanation. That's not fair."

Julian scoffed. “You act like he cared in the first place.”

"Of course he cared!” Julian froze, caught off guard by the sudden burst of emotion. Derek groaned in frustration. “Seriously? He was fucking devastated when you left! He was a wreck for months!”

Julian’s face folded in confusion. Derek stood up fully, bracing himself with one hand on the bar.

“He spent our entire senior year wondering if you'd come back. Every time you announced a new project, he'd try to figure out when it was gonna end, to see if there’d be time for you to re-enroll. They finally told him you’d formally withdrawn, and he cried all night. I had to stop him from trying to track down your number because I knew you didn’t want to hear from him. But my God, Julian, how could you think he didn’t care?!”

Julian gaped. Truthfully, he hadn’t thought about it. He’d been so sure that Logan wouldn’t care to hear from him again that he never even gave him a chance to reach out.

“…I didn’t know,” he whispered finally, and Derek scoffed.

“You’re both idiots,” he mumbled, grabbing his drink and disappearing into the crowd.

Julian wandered aimlessly for a while, saying a few casual hellos to the people who approached him but declining any further conversation. He still maintained that leaving was the best thing for him. He couldn’t stand to play second fiddle to Logan’s newest fascination for another year and a half. But he hadn’t expected Logan to actually _miss_ him, especially after the way he’d ignored him so soundly in the short time he’d been back.

Had he made a huge mistake?

He froze when he caught sight of Logan, no longer waiting on the sidelines but pushing his way through the crowd, seemingly looking for something. Julian’s suspicions were confirmed when their eyes met, and Logan surged forward with renewed purpose, cutting through the densely packed bodies to nudge Julian off to the side.

“Come home with me,” he said with no further greeting. Julian blinked.

"What?"

"Come home with me," Logan repeated, and Julian’s heart skipped a beat. "Back to my hotel room. For the night."

"I..." Julian blinked, confused. "You…you’re really doing this.”

"Why not?" Logan chuckled nervously, his face flushed. He was out of breath, apparently having rushed to catch Julian before he left. Julian paused.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Logan," he said softly.

"Come on, what are reunions for if not hooking up with your high school crush?" Julian shot him a withering look, and he backpedaled. "Okay, look. Maybe it is a bad idea. But what if it's not?" He swallowed hard, leaning forward to catch Julian's eyes with an intense look. "What if this is our chance?"

"What are you talking about?" Julian scoffed, suddenly annoyed. "There is no _us_. There was never a chance, you didn't...you don't _want_ a chance. Not with me."

"What makes you so sure you know what I want?"

Julian’s head was spinning. This was too much.

"You never wanted me," he said in a low voice. "It didn't matter what I did. I tried being your friend, I tried helping you get the guy you wanted, I tried consoling you when you had your heart broken. And every time, there was someone you wanted more. Look, maybe you’re right, maybe Kurt was just some stupid teenage crush, but…” He swallowed hard. “It was still more than you ever felt for me.”

He turned to leave, to push this entire clusterfuck of a night out of his mind so he wouldn’t have to deal with going through this heartbreak again, but Logan caught his arm.

"Come home with me," he said again, in a soft voice. “We don’t have to have sex. But I’m not letting you just leave again.” Julian turned back towards him, and Logan let his hand drop, fingers brushing tentatively over Julian's. “We blew it, in high school. We both did. But we’re not teenagers anymore. We might have an actual shot at something really good, and I…I don’t want to waste it. Not again.” He took Julian’s hand, and Julian’s breath hitched. “I already lost you once because I was too stupid to appreciate what I had. I'm not gonna do that again."

Julian stared incredulously up at him. Logan smiled gently, his fingers lacing together with Julian’s. He looked _hopeful_ , waiting patiently for Julian to say yes, to agree to go back to his hotel room and try to rebuild their lost friendship as something more.

But before he could say anything in response, Julian was interrupted by Derek throwing his arm over his shoulders, nearly toppling him over.

"Hey, you guys," he slurred, and Julian's lip quirked up in a smile.

"Having fun?" Logan deadpanned, and Derek grinned.

"I'm _so_ glad you could make it, Jules." Derek leaned against him, and Julian chuckled, reaching around to ruffle his hair. He shot Logan an amused smile, and Logan returned it, chuckling lightly. "I missed you. Logan missed you."

"I missed you guys, too," Julian murmured.

"I think maybe we should be getting you back to the hotel, D," Logan offered, his statement further supported by Derek's answering hiccup.

"Mmmaybe," he drawled, and Julian laughed.

"Come on," Julian groaned, supporting Derek with an arm around his waist. "Let's get you an Uber. Where are you guys staying?"

"The Hyatt," Logan answered, and Julian's eyes widened a little.

"What a coincidence," he muttered with a small smile. Logan raised an eyebrow.

"You're there too?" Derek barked a laugh. "Wow, that's funny. Great minds think alike, or...something like that."

Julian shook his head, and while Logan dug out his phone to order an Uber, he helped Derek maneuver himself outside. The sky had gone dark hours before, the traffic circle outside the hall lit only by a few streetlights over the parking lots. He sank to the ground, settling down on the curb outside the building with Derek leaning against his shoulder. Derek tucked his head into Julian’s neck, humming softly.

“Missed you,” he mumbled. “Logan missed you. I wanted—“ He hiccuped, and Julian patted his back gently. “I wanted to call you. Tell you to stop being such a stubborn dickhead.”

“You did call me,” Julian said patiently.

“I did. You called me back.” Derek closed his eyes. “M’so glad you came tonight. Want my friends back.”

Julian laughed nervously. “Don’t worry,” he muttered, sneaking a glance back to Logan. “You two can’t get rid of me that easy.”

A few moments later, Logan joined them on the curb, sliding down to sit next to Julian. “Uber says ten minutes,” he said, gesturing to his phone. He set it down in his lap, hand falling to his side. His fingers brushed against Julian’s, and Julian sighed, reaching out to take his hand. Logan beamed.

“We’re back, you sorry bastards,” Derek mumbled, grinning lazily with his face still pressed into Julian’s shoulder. On his other side, Logan snickered. Julian laughed along, glancing over to Logan with a warm smile. Logan’s thumb brushed over his hand, and he felt lighter than he had all night.

“I missed you guys,” he muttered, giving Logan’s hand a gentle squeeze.


End file.
